Bashing France for Fun and Profit.

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  Friday, March 07, 2003
French Arming Iraq

Maybe the inevitable conflict in Iraq will end up something like Vietnam or Korea, a proxy war between two world powers. In this case, however, our soldiers will be waging this war in Iraq not against the Evil Empire, but against the Axis of Weasels, led of course by the worlds greatest Weasel power, France.

    A French company has been selling spare parts to Iraq for its fighter jets and military helicopters during the past several months, according to U.S. intelligence officials.

    The unidentified company sold the parts to a trading company in the United Arab Emirates, which then shipped the parts through a third country into Iraq by truck.

    The spare parts included goods for Iraq's French-made Mirage F-1 jets and Gazelle attack helicopters.

    An intelligence official said the illegal spare-parts pipeline was discovered in the past two weeks and that sensitive intelligence about the transfers indicates that the parts were smuggled to Iraq as recently as January.

    Other intelligence reports indicate that Iraq had succeeded in acquiring French weaponry illegally for years, the official said.

Of course, to be truly like Vietnam or Korea, the Axis of Weasels would have to commit their own regular troops, something we know the French are particularly unsuitable for.

We may really have France over a barrel on this one, though:

    The importation of military goods by Iraq is banned under U.N. Security Council resolutions passed since the 1991 Persian Gulf war.

If we can indeed show that France has been exporting arms to Iraq in violation of resolutions of the Security Council, we may well be able to use this to our advantage should we try to get France kicked out as a permanent member of the Council, to be replaced by more appropriate nations such as India and Japan.

Michael 11:45 AM

Thursday, March 06, 2003


From France

    The Train Ride :

    The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her dog.

    The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. I need that seat." The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, You Americans. Your are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?"

    The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there?". I'm very tired."

    The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant....Imagine!"

    The American didn't say anything else, he leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her honor and chastise the American.

    An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You know,sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

Michael 2:12 PM

French Force School Children to Watch Michael Moore Films; U.N. Human Rights Commission to Investigate in 2015.

We're aware that the French have no care for the well being of the Iraqi peoples, since they insist on trying to keep Saddam Hussein's Murderous Regime in power for their own profit. We're also aware that the French have no care for the lives of Americans, since they insist on coddling a Murderous Regime that wishes to kill Americans. What is perhaps most shocking, however, is that they also care nothing for their own children, since Michael Moore's most recent decepta-film Bowling for Columbine is now a part of the French educational curriculum:

    Moore's film became a certified part of the French national curriculum after winning the "Cannes Prix Educational National" award, voted on by hundreds of French teachers and students. The film also made French history by being the first documentary chosen in nearly 50 years to be part of the official Cannes Film Festival competition. Hands down, "Bowling for Columbine" won the festival's 55th Anniversary Special Prize. "It was the only prize awarded," explains Moore, "that received a unanimous decision from the festival jury."

    What the jurors unanimously liked was the picture Moore painted of America, a wild-eyed nation of militia crazies, gun nuts, military bravado, imperialistic warmongers and dull-witted suburban fathers who shuffle off to their jobs at Lockheed Martin each morning to make weapons of mass destruction while their trigger-happy kids are over at Columbine High, first going to bowling class in the morning and then blasting their classmates to smithereens.


    The French school kids [will learn] learn that welfare is good and capitalism is bad. They'll learn that greedy white people in America, too cheap to pay for welfare, turned a 6-year-old into a killer. They'll learn that Columbine High was quintessentially American. They'll learn that the poor are poor because the rich are rich, that it's a zero-sum game in which every gain for the rich comes out of the hide of the poor, and that the Third World is weak because America is strong, and that people are subjugated because America is oppressive. They'll learn that Lockheed Martin is Auschwitz.

    They'll learn that George W. Bush is a bigger terrorist than Osama bin Laden. And they'll learn, if their teacher is up on the latest prizes, that the International Documentary Association, in a poll of 2000 documentary filmmakers around the world, ranks Moore's anti-American rant as the "Best documentary of all time."


    What they won't learn is that the last time around the French dealt with Hitler's appetite by tossing him a slice of Czechoslovakia. And then a piece of Poland. And then Paris.

    They won't learn that France contributed more food to Nazi Germany than any other occupied territory. They won't learn about how appeasement failed, or about the French sense of defeat, or the level of French collaboration with those who sought their destruction, or about those who met terror with submission.


Michael 2:00 PM

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