February 14, 2003 Sometimes I see something on the web that really pisses me off. Today it's this - Bashing The French For Fun and Profit - because recycling old xenophobic stereotypes is funny, don't you see?
Laugh? I thought I'd never start.
As you might guess, it's done by a bunch of juvenile American rightwingers - I'm sure they're the sort of people who listen to Rush Limbaugh, watch Fox News and remain convinced that there's a 'liberal media' that dominates the airwaves. But, these are also the same people who scream 'that's anti-Americanism! that's wrong! how dare you!' when anyone makes so much as a slightly critical comment about America or American policy. So, if anti-Americanism is so wrong, why is it OK to 'bash the French'?
Let's take a look, though, at what this particular Limey says about Americans just one day earlier:
No More Mister Nice Blog draws our attention to this - quick! Still time to get your order in for Valentine's Day! Yes, they really think that a Stop The Axis of Weasels mousemat is just what you should be getting your partner to say you love them. And why do they miss Belgium off all the merchandise? OK, so your average American wouldn't know what the Belgian flag looked like, and probably doesn't even know where Belgium is.
And then there's this - because international trade wars always have a good outcome for all concerned, don't they? I think I'll be going out of my way to buy French, Belgian and German products to try and counteract any American boycotts.
I love the double standards of the Left. But I do plenty of Left bashing over on the BCP, so I won't go there. What I will do, though, is bestow the highest honor that BFFFAP awards to its readers, and therefore hereby bestow the title of Honorary French Citizen on Mr. Barlow. Also, based on this evidence, I would suggest that Mr. Barlow goes easy on the haggis and kidney pie for a while. Michael 6:03 PM
There is a joke going around that France is going to change her Tricolor flag. She is going to remove the blue and red parts, leaving only the white.
In fairness, however, the French are not waving the white flag of surrender today. They are standing in defiance—not defiance of Iraqi tyrant Saddam Hussein, or Islamic terrorists, but of America and American interests.
Some Congressmen Want to Ban French Wine Thursday February 13, 2003 4:00 AM
WASHINGTON (AP) - Some members of Congress are suggesting the United States impose trade sanctions on France and withdraw U.S. troops from Germany to retaliate for opposition to U.S. policies on Iraq, the Washington Post reported Wednesday.
House Speaker Dennis Hastert has told associates he would like to target bottled French mineral water and wine, the paper said.
``France and Germany are losing credibility by the day and they are, I think, losing status in the world,'' the Post quoted House Majority Leader Tom DeLay as saying. ``They are walking a fine line that is very dangerous.''
Hastert has instructed Republican colleagues to determine whether Congress should pass laws that would new impose health standards on bottles of Evian and other French waters, the paper said.
According to the Beverage Marketing Corporation, a U.S. research firm France is the leading exporter of water to the United States and sold 65 million gallons (147 million liters) in 2001.
The Post said the speaker also is exploring whether the United States should require ``bright orange warning labels'' on French wines that are clarified with bovine blood.
``People should know how the French make their wine, `` the Post quoted Hastert spokesman John Feehery as saying.
PRINCETON, NJ -- Americans have a sharply more unfavorable image of France than they have had at any point over the past decade. Favorable opinions of the country have dropped 20 points in the last year, while unfavorable opinions have risen by 17 points. Americans' attitudes toward Germany, which, like France, has balked at approving the U.S. position on the necessity of military action against Iraq, have also become substantially more negative since last year. The image of North Korea in the minds of Americans, already quite negative, has become even more so this year compared to last.
Well, thanks to Dissecting Leftism for the mention and all of the traffic. Blogrolled here and at my own site. I'll be trolling the web for more content over the weekend, but I wanted to mention that we actively soclicit and enjoy contributions, so if you'd like to point us towards something particularly funny or scathing about the French, please email us. I'll also be busy posting over at Tony's website, I Am Always Right, since he's busy moving this weekend. Joining me in this content-push will be Jen of Jen Speaks. Michael 6:48 AM
the brit's turn to bash
From The Sun: "The French are a joke when it comes to war." You don't say? To prove their point, The Sun let their readers talk:
How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris? Nobody knows, they have never tried it.
What’s the difference between a Wonderbra and the French World Cup squad? A Wonderbra has decent support ? and a cup.
Why don’t the French like the fireworks at Disneyland Paris? Because every time they go off, people start trying to surrender.
When East and West Germany got back together there were talks to relocate the capital city . . . back to Paris.
- Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
- Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
- American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
- French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
There's more, you should go read it. Tony Rosen 7:05 AM
3. Frequently drinks cheap wine made with bovine blood
4. Runs with fear whenever a Peugot backfires
5. Has smug-looking, curled mustache
6. Collaborates with every frickin' German he can find
7. Eats too much stinky cheese, excuse me, fromage
8. Carries around dry loaf of French bread
9. Wears bizarre, effeminate clothing
10. Wets pants at thought of confrontation... then leaves them that way. Owen Courrèges 12:22 AM
Wednesday, February 12, 2003
southern baptist boycott french wine
blogs4God has the scoop on the Southern Baptist Convention boycotting French Wines and German Beer. Here's an excerpt:
In response to the Franco-German blockage of protection for a NATO member, the North American Mission Board (NAMB) of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) has unilaterally called for a boycott of French Wines and German Beer. Citing their press release, they ask the members of their denomination to avoid these products "with the same devotion given to [their] effort to shut down Euro-Disney."
As one might expect, opinions of this bold move vary. In a telephone interview, noted Christian speaker and entrepreneur Adolph Coors responded that the boycott didn't go far enough and should have included the better tasting bitters from Canada.
Sounds good. Let's all boycott! Tony Rosen 7:43 AM
This image totally embodies the spirit of this website. Originally by Strange Cosmos.
France's resistance to U.S. policy on Iraq, capped off by its role in blocking U.S.-backed plans to bolster Turkish defenses against a possible Iraqi missile attack, is resulting in a massive outpouring of U.S. anger against France, evidenced by the 1,124 angry calls received by the French Embassy in Washington, D.C., in just one day.
At least they know the reason for those calls.
With some U.S. talk radio shows openly calling for repatriation of America's war dead, noted the Scotsman, the phrase "if it weren't for us you'd be speaking German" has become a popular refrain.
It's not just a refrain, it's the truth.
Also, I think we should go over there, dig up our dead and bring them home. As a matter of fact, we may as well do it right. Bring them home to a hero's welcome, because the French do not seem to remember that it was our boys who died for their freedom. Tony Rosen 3:27 AM
Tuesday, February 11, 2003
Via Wired, France must subsidize it's film industry in order to preserve some sort of "Frenchness" in world cinema, no matter how small or pathetic that "Frenchness" may be. I mean, has anyone SEEN a French movie lately? The last one I bothered to see was the Brotherhood of the Wolf, and although it had some decent special effects and a whorehouse scene (surprise!), it was still a pretty shitty action movie. For example, in the first fight scene of the movie, one of the heros uses the same move on a group of baddies 3 times! I mean, wouldn't they catch on and stop getting kicked like that? Oh, wait, the baddies in question WERE French Military. Never mind, I suppose BotW wasn't so inaccurate, after all. Michael 2:16 PM
Yay, content. Here's a list titled "A Few Good Reasons to Hate The Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys":
#1) The Smell
The French people have a different standard of cleanliness than most people with teeth do.
#2) The Attitude
When the social skills of the French people are considered, the 2000 year history of them getting
their asses kicked by EVERYONE seems overly lienent.
#3) The Envy
"Sprechen Sie Duetsch?" Usually shuts the little shits right up!
#4) The Laws
The French legislature has passed "Cultural Preservation" laws that regulate which kinds
of words can and cannot be used in French dictionaries. Anything English-related is forbidden.
For example, a cafe must sell "a hamburger with a slice of cheese" because the use of the
word "cheeseburger" would not be French. Talk about SIZE issues...
#5) The Waffling
The groveling little french swine never cease to amaze me with their pettiness & lack of direction.
Even though the French military hasn't been credible since Napoleon, they still try and play
themselves off as a Great Power. They have left and rejoined NATO once already, usually seek
to cause as much disruption in the ranks as possible, and seem to have no appreciation
for the FAVOR being done for them. As far as I'm concerned, the French can pick up
the banner of leadership in the west anytime that they have the balls to....Don't laugh!
#6 The Slop
What other "culture" looks at snails and pig genitals and sees food?
#7 The "Films"
The french film industry is like a bad date that won't end.
The greasy little shit who is supposed to get his ass kicked is inevitably the hero.
In light of all of the material that France and its detractors have been providing for us lately, we've decided to put together this site in hopes that you, the members of the blogosphere, might enjoy a central clearing house of France Bashing and France Bashing related products and services. Enjoy. Please send links, suggestions, breaking news, and hate mail to email@example.com. Comments, more content, and a better template will be forthcoming shortly. Michael 10:48 AM
Counters and Credits
All original content (c) 2003 BFFFAP Enterprises.
All other content is the property of its respective owners.
Please direct all inquiries to the Webmaster.